The person I want checking IDs at the airport are bouncers 'cause they're the only ones who can spot a fake. So, if a terrorist rolled up, he'd be like, 'Uh, here you go.' Bouncer be like, 'Says you're born in June. What's your sign, bro?' 'Uh, uh, I don't know, like, a Libra?' 'It's a Gemini! Get the hell out of here, dude! And too many dudes -- you brought too many dudes with you.'

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